I found a new job at Baltasar Plc.

‘I found a new job at Baltasar Plc’ is a satire. The REALITY COLUMN says there is a Baltasar here and there. Find out why.

Folks, big news! I’ve just got a new job. And no, it’s not at some boring corporate gig. Not a government appointment, either. well, I’m now working for Baltasar Plc. You’ve probably heard of it. But, if you haven’t, well, you’re either living under a rock or still thinking ethics matter. Hey!  This job is, like the Gen Zs say, the next level!

Let me whisper where I found a new job. And what we do. I don’t want may people to know, so please don’t tell anybody o. We produce video tapes! And we ‘sell’ it free!

I found a new job that can make me famous

Why work hard and follow rules when you can be famous, powerful, and a little morally questionable? Thanks to Baltasar, the line between success and scandal has never been blurrier. This guy makes the Kardashians look like saints. You thought nepotism was just for your uncle’s catering business? No, no, no—Baltasar has shown us the real potential of family connections. I heard he even “extended the connections” to his brother’s wife. His “family reunions” are making headlines.

But let’s not pretend we’re shocked. Are we really surprised by his indiscretions? Maybe it’s time we all ask ourselves: How much Baltasar is in us? How far would we go for fame, money, or—let’s be real—attention?

Is morality for amateurs?

Ethics are so passé. Why follow the law when you can break it and get your videos go viral? Baltasar Engonga has cracked the code. He’s proven that you can do unspeakable things—allegedly, of course—and still get your pictures on every blog. He didn’t just break rules; he shredded them, turned them into confetti, and handed them out at a family barbecue. Soon, many too-hurry-for-fames will copy.

What Baltasar has shown the world is that scandal isn’t just good for business—it’s the business. His rise to international prominence is proof that bad behaviour can be a career move. Bad ethics!

But, let’s be honest, there are many Baltasar among us. Many abusing the man today do so just because their “videos’ are not out. Now, many Nigerian women are even already applying for work with Baltasar Plc. Check out the social media. They want to work for a company where anything goes. They are tired of a boring 9-to-5, where they’re told to play by the rules. With Baltasar Plc, the motto is simple: “Who needs laws when you’ve got relatives?” Bad ethics!

So, okay…Equatorial Guinea is hot right now. Who knew? Suddenly, people are Googling it. Every time a scandal hits, a country gets a little shine. And just think about it: if this works for Baltasar, why not for Nigeria? Maybe it’s time for a little self-exploration. The question is: How much of Baltasar in us are we willing to admit?

The business of immorality where I found a new job

Well, there’s an art to all of this. And it’s called “immorality.”  Baltasar wasn’t just in charge of an anti-crime agency. Who checked his works? How many financial criminals did he nail?  He’s the CEO of carnage, chaos, and perhaps even some incestuous family ties. But, hey! What’s the harm in that? After all, he’s got the world’s attention—and that’s a real big achievement, right? Wrong!.

Sad thing is, many  trying to follow laws and keeping their noses clean. But many Baltasars are out making their own laws. Why? Because they can!

Here’s a free advice to other countries. If you want to make headlines, you don’t need great policies or moral governance. Just hire a Baltasar, give him a cozy office, throw out the rulebook. No supervision, except by equally  horny women!

 Just one scandal away from fame

At the end of the day, Baltasar’s alleged misdeeds aren’t just a scandal—they’re a blueprint. A blueprint for all of us who’ve been stuck in the grind of regular jobs, adhering to outdated ideas like integrity and honesty. Who needs that when you can be like Baltasar and just make your own rules?

When I say I found a new job, it includes giving free advice. Take it at your own peril. So, here’s an advice for men: start looking at your relatives differently. Your cousin? Your brother’s wife? You neighbour’s dog? yea, you are a dog too, aren’t you? And for the aunt who’s always “too busy” with business trip to “Dubai”, etc? There’s no limit to what you can do once you embrace the Baltasar in you.

And if you get into scandal, that’s okay. But don’t commit suicide after. Government may decide to flog you before burial. I’m off to where I found the new job.