I’m in chains, just like Tafa

I’m in chains. I have enough already— chains of poverty, constant fuel price hikes, insecurity, dependents, and incessant family demands. But nothing compared to the chains of corruption, denial, and the systems that keep us shackled.

There are many reasons I don’t wear a necklace. First, it’s a chain. Second, I can’t afford an expensive one—like Tafa’s N12 billion silver hand-rings.

However, that’s not the whole story. I have enough chains already—around my neck, waist, head, legs, and wrists. Indeed, they are chains of poverty, constant fuel price hikes, insecurity, dependents, and my wife’s demands. These invisible chains could easily consume anyone’s willpower—even Will Smith. Despite these burdens, I like to feel free, at least physically. Therefore, I “dashed” my cheap wedding ring to my wife as a birthday gift.

Moreover, necklaces, rings, or even handcuffs symbolize one thing: restraint. They mark you as a “no-go area.” They scream, “He/she belongs to me.” Have you noticed how women smile when they “cage” a man with a wedding ring? Yet these ornaments also make you a target for thieves or “area boys.” If your jewelry resembles Tafa’s oversized hand-ring, you’re practically asking for trouble.

 Absurdity of Arrests

Furthermore, some people are so funny they even arrest goats. For instance, Ayo Fayose, the Ekiti State governor, recently led his Environment Ministry team to catch his grandmother’s “straying” goats. When the number hit 200, they planned an “Isi-ewu” party to keep the state clean. Interestingly, an unreliable source said the goats were auctioned off in Tafa’s style of handcuffs.

Before Balogun, the banker, someone with a similar name led our Police Force. During his reign, innocent citizens got arrested almost daily, handcuffed for petty crimes. Stealing meat from mama’s soup? No problem. They ended up with the Wabara/Osuji face-saving denials and lame threats. Handcuffs are humiliating. Adolphus Wabara was Nigeria’s dull Senate President. Likewise, Professor Osuji, the naive “bribe giver,” served as Education Minister. Both drowned in a sea called “N55 million bribe.” They fought Obasanjo’s wave named “anti-corruption” but couldn’t keep their heads above water.

By the way, I’ve heard that some women plan to protest at Aso Rock. They’re “aunties” who claim to be “exposed to public ridicule”—not just by Obasanjo but also by the sacked Housing Minister, Mobolaji Osomo. Their co-defendants include Wabara, Tafa Balogun, Fabian Osuji, Chris Adighije, and the stealing members of the National Assembly.

I’m in chains of corruption

This protest arises because, every time “anti-corruption” is mentioned, these “aunties” are bombarded with questions by their nieces and nephews.

For example, one nephew asked, “Aunty, I heard you have a group called the Association of Angry Aunties. Is Corruption a member? My teacher says Obasanjo has issues with her.”

In response, the Aunty said, “We’ll sue Obasanjo in a court headed by Stella. Her family bought almost all the properties Osomo sold. That Osomo was a real ‘sell-out.’ She sold out everything. I even heard she tried to woo Donald Duke, whose tender wasn’t even considered.”

Tafa’s chain serves as a lesson in power. Today’s servants can become tomorrow’s masters. For instance, Ehindero, Tafa’s boy, chained his boss. But how well does Ehindero understand history? Does it even matter? I know he studied Law, not History. Didn’t Abacha use a law from Obasanjo’s time to jail the Otta farmer?

Corruption and chains are traditional bedfellows. They both start with “c.” One often leads to the other, and vice versa. The distinctive thing about chains is that they’re always linked. Once you break a chain, it loses its meaning. So, I’m not surprised Tafa, the new NLC leader, went on a hunger strike. He protested Ribadu’s attempt to break the chain.

 Irony of Hunger Strikes

In fact, EFCC wanted to waste our money feeding Tafa, even with the N12 billion allegation hanging over him. Was Ribadu, the “lean man,” planning to take Tafa’s place at the dinner table? One unspoken rule of marriage is that the wife must feed the husband—cooked or raw. No Ribadu has the authority to put “asunder.”

My anger lies in Ribadu trying to force Tafa to eat food bought with my aging mother’s taxes. After all, she’s been without proper food for months. Tafa’s hunger strike is nothing new. Many of us have been on a “forced hunger strike” for years. It has worsened since 1999. Ironically, just as Adams Oshiomhole seemed to forget strikes, Tafa picked it up.

Is this “striking Tafa” from Ghana? Or is he the same man who ordered Nigerians shot for striking against fuel price hikes?

Tafa’s chain illustrates the intersection of corruption, crime, and lies. Very few admit wrongdoing when first confronted.

Friend 1: O’ boy, I hope you aren’t up to something. I saw you looking at my sister’s breast.

Friend 2: You must be crazy. How could I? She’s like a sister to me. Besides, she wore a shirt that said, ‘Don’t read my nipples.

 Chains of Denial

Wabara denied ever taking a bribe. He threatened to drown with Obasanjo’s head in a polythene bag. Yet, he couldn’t hold on and fell from grace. On the other hand, Osuji claimed he would turn EFCC into a classroom to teach Ribadu a lesson. A few days later, he withdrew his case and begged Nigerians for forgiveness. Meanwhile, Adighije and his associates denied taking the N55 million bribe. Later, they admitted their lies, placing blame on Wabara.

For once, Obasanjo has shown some bite in his anti-corruption campaign. Even if Olorunnibe Mamora told Adighije to “go and sin no more,” it doesn’t erase past sins. Avoiding future wrongdoing doesn’t cancel out previous crimes.

Moreover, it’s even worse when an accused admits guilt and then boasts: “I feel devastated, but I’m not bloodied. My head is high because once I told it as it is, I feel relief.”

It can’t be that simple for Dr. Makanjuola to walk away with a N450 million allegation. And Tafa’s denial of an alias? Will it really set him free?

Is “telling it as it is,” after lying to the nation worth N55 million? What penance! Tafa, Wabara, Osuji, Adighije, and all the corrupt politicians deserve more than just a trial. They should find themselves in government quarters, where the president is called “The Marshall.”

In the end, I’m in chains, like many of us, bound by the weight of corruption, denial, and the systems that keep us shackled.