Laugh at me, it’s the doctor’s order. Never mind your bad experiences, laughter will soften all. A bad situation is better handled with laughter. If your “best man” runs off with your wife, laugh it off. It could be one of those bad Nigerian movies!
A few days ago, I fought flu and malaria. Surprisingly, I was “awarded” a PHD. If you know me well, which you don’t, I’m usually very healthy—until I get sick. I try to exercise daily. Two press-ups on the bed, a stretch, and a jog to the kitchen. That’s fitness, right? Yet, I often end up with a headache “inside my head.”
Finally, I saw a doctor. He placed his stethoscope on my legs and declared that my head was filled with coconut water. I laughed! He said I had Physical Health Deficiency (PHD). Then, he gave me chalks to swallow “after meal.” Seriously? I only swallow my saliva “after meal.” Again, I laughed. When he suggested I “work out” often, I almost walked out.
VP and My Laughter Infection
Back home, I watched Vice President Atiku Abubakar on TV. He claimed the national ID card project showed the government’s resolve to impact the masses. I felt like asking, “How does this affect me?” Instead, I laughed long enough for my wife to call the doctor. He put me through tests—mad cow disease, STD, pregnancy, and even “laughter infection,” which leads to madness. Then, he surprised us. He “found” something that looked like blood in my system. The good news? It was circulating! He pronounced me healed, as if he “dashed” it to me like some Pentecostal pastor.
The Power of laughter
Here’s the lesson: a bad situation is better handled with laughter. If your “best man” runs off with your wife, laugh it off. It could be one of those bad Nigerian movies. By laughing more, you might live longer—even if Obasanjo makes it hard to buy groundnut. Just laugh and be happy! Experts say laughter helps blood flow better—if you have blood in your veins.
Laugh at me: The science behind happiness
A study showed that watching funny films boosts blood vessel function. In fact, researchers at the University of Maryland compared funny films like Oputa Panel to stressful ones, like Obasanjo’s speech. The verdict? Funny films prolong life, while stressful ones add stress—resulting in quicker death. In summary, the more you laugh at me, the longer you live.
Exercise with a twist
I suspect people like Mike Tyson discovered the truth about laughter. That’s why he creates comic relief with ear-biting! Now, he mixes Italian ballads with American rap—like combining headache and migraine. Laughter is good for body and soul. Laugh often; it may replace other exercises. Doctors recommend 30 minutes of exercise three times a week and 15 minutes of laughter daily. Laughter increases blood flow by 22%, while stress slows it by 35%.
Morning routine made easy: Just laugh at me.
Don’t let big English words confuse you, okay? First thing in the morning, waste 30 minutes from your bedroom to the bathroom. Arrive late to work and claim you stopped for exercise books. Your boss will understand; after all, he exercises too, right? If you do this three times a week, you might end up in the “laughter book.” Just spend 15 minutes laughing at your boss’s stupidity.
Government’s ‘exercise’
Okay, experts say exercise is good, but they didn’t say to kill ourselves with it. Neither did they say our government should kill us with “exercise.” Obasanjo and his men often misread this advice. When we cry for food, they tell us to “exercise” patience. They mismanage our money while they grow fat at our expense.
Laughter: Food for the future
I’m starting to wonder why we need to eat. The National Assembly has failed us, it should ban eating. Consider the stress of three meals a day. Why not just laugh it off and sleep? Laughter creates the exercise we miss and lightens the spirit, especially with a little whisky or Remy Martins. Laughter can even cure malaria, flu, and clear Baba’s throat.
The Wisdom of Laughter
But be wise about laughter. Imagine an Obasanjo minister refusing to laugh at his dry jokes or a journalist laughing at his drab explanations. If Abacha had laughed too much, perhaps, they would have killed him in a coup. Unfortunately, Abiola smiled at the wrong people and paid the price. Be careful of those who smile too often.
Laugh at me, but know your limits
Despite the findings, too much laughter can be poisonous. Laugh at a funeral, and people might think you’re mad. Some situations need a smile; others, a grimace. Even at weddings, grooms often look grimacing, while brides shine with laughter.
My own laughable moments
Me? I laugh at my own stupidity. Like when I search for a pot behind the kitchen door. I laugh when people say, “Ha! I thought you were bigger!” Now, everyone is singing—from pastors to movie stars. They call their gibberish rap, which often makes no sense. So, just nod and smile. Yes, laugh it off! You can even laugh at me; it’s doctor’s orders!
*First published in Saturday Sun on March 19, 2005.
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