Insult is Food for PDP Big-men
A new survey has shown that since PDP took over leadership in 1999, the nation has made outstanding progress. On the back of the report was a bold inscription: ‘Backwards!’…
Welcome To the Dogs’ Party
My neighbour’s dog is a funny creature. Each day, it runs after my car as I drive out. Then, when it’s tired, sits in the middle of the road, defecates…
I Refuse to Be Named Patience
I’m gradually losing my “patience.” I warned my mum not to give my younger sister that name, but she wouldn’t hear. She said it was because God had not forgotten…
Pity! Amala Causes AIDS in Oyo.
I don’t like “amala,” but I guess I have to try now. You see, I have this ambition that when I grow up, I must join politics. And I’ve been…
I Won Olympic Gold, Jogging to the Toilet
Thank God that Olympic nonsense has ended. Now I can settle down to watch that programme teaching men to measure the size of their wives’ pants. Your Choice! I think…
My Pastor Is a Devil’s Advocate
Growing up, I knew Sonny Okosuns, the musician. He used rag to hold his head together, yet sang what made sense to many. But I never knew there was another…
Okonja-Iweala’s Gibberish
Since Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala heeded her father’s pleadings to stay back and mind our public purse, it was last week she got my attention. Her stuff about Naira’s free fall being…
Let’s Kill All Okadamen
I had a rethink about romance and “kissing” on Monday, after a Naval officer killed an “okadaman.” Imagine! The Okada guy had the effrontery to “kiss” an officer’s car –…
Our Real Misadventures
I’ve just learnt that there’s a sickness called “misadventure.” Deadlier than AIDS. In fact, it kills like a sniper – leaving neat bullet wounds. Ask Ehindero. Police said that’s what…
Between Reality and Obasanjo’s Marijuana)
In many churches, we have seen doctors, preachers and merchants rolled into one. But Citizen Obasanjo Jimoh is different. He’s a real Nigerian – a product of necessity. Arrested recently…