Nigeria’s Anthem of Distraction and Misdirection!

‘Nigeria’s anthem of distraction’ can’t provide us fuel without selling a kidney. It can’t afford us  good meals without breaking a bank. What then is it good for?

I recently conducted an experiment. I started my generator with just five litres of fuel and sang our current national anthem: “Arise, O compatriots…Nigeria’s call obey…” Instantly, the generator sputtered and died! The fuel had run out!

A few minutes later, the “power holders” restored the electricity. Elated, I began singing the old anthem: “Nigeria, we hail thee…our own dear native land…” The lights went out again!

Today, my younger brother called, lamenting about Lagos traffic. He was stuck for hours on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. I suggested he sing the national anthem. He called back later, reporting no miracle. I then asked him to sing the old one. He did. Nothing changed! He remained stationary, sweating in the blistering heat for seven hours!

Yet, in the grand theatre of Nigerian politics, our lawmakers eagerly assume the role of choirmasters. They are now obsess over the origin and lyrics of our national songs, rather than focusing on the well-being of the citizens. Truly, they are grand maestros of misdirection!

Nigeria’s Anthem of Distraction: The Debate 

Their latest spectacle? A spirited debate over whether to return to an old national anthem. Some argue it promoted unity, while others grumble that it was penned by a foreigner. Imagine! It’s like a group of chefs arguing about the garnish while the kitchen burns!

The old anthem begins with “Nigeria, we hail thee; our own dear native land…” Yes, a foreigner wrote it. But does that really matter? After all, our entire system of government bears a foreign imprint. If we’re so intent on purging foreign influences, should we revert to pre-colonial governance? And stop bowing every time the IMF sneezes?

The current anthem, “Arise, O compatriots, Nigeria’s call obey… the labours of our heroes past shall never be in vain,” ironically contradicts itself. While it urges us to honour the labours of our heroes, the fruits of those labours seem to vanish under the very leaders who urge us to sing.

Our lawmakers, ever so (dis)honorable, display their patriotism by arguing that changing anthem lyrics will solve Nigeria’s myriad problems. Bad leadership? Corruption? Greed? Mere footnotes in the grand operatic performance of our political elite. Only a fool, like me, would suggest that the anthem debate is a perfect distraction from the real issues at hand.

Our True Priorities

So, we need a better standard of living. We should be able to buy fuel without selling a kidney, enjoy good food without breaking the bank, and earn a salary that actually covers our expenses. Does it really matter which song serves as the soundtrack to our daily struggles?

Our leaders resemble children debating which bedtime story will lull them to sleep, blissfully unaware of the real monsters under the bed. They seem to think that harmonizing our national song can drown out the cacophony of our collective struggles. It’s almost endearing.

The real anthem that resonates with Nigerians is one of frustration and resilience. It’s the song of people persevering despite their leaders’ best efforts to distract and deflect. While they hum and haw over the anthem, the true chorus and color of Nigeria’s problems remain unresolved.

So, dear lawmakers, choose your anthem. Debate it until the cows come home. But remember: No anthem, old or new, can clear the traffic, shorten any journey, reduce fuel prices, resolve security issues, or erase our government-induced sorrows!