In this column, Okpebholo and I share a deep, unspoken bond. It involves getting utterly confused by the endless stream of zeros in government budgets. While he stumbles over the numbers, I’m left wondering what these billions actually mean for me.
I share a rare and special bond with Edo State Governor, Senator Monday Okpebholo. You might think it’s about politics. Or, maybe some profound life-changing event we both went through. Well, not quite. Our shared experience stems from something far more common. I swear, we both have no clue what a billion is!
Yes, you read that right. Okpebholo and I are struggling with the terrifyingly mysterious world of “billions.” You see, the other day, it became very clear. Billions confuse us. Along with the elderly cousins, trillions. They have been our undoing. So, Okpebholo spoke on my behalf, the other day.
While presenting the 2025 budget proposal to the Edo State House of Assembly, te gov hit a bump in the road. A series of ungraceful stumbles over numbers. Some nervous chuckles followed.
“Let me take it again. 506 billion… 605 billion… sorry… 776 billion… sorry, it’s confusing me,” Okpebholo stammered. Damn the daunting weight of all those annoying zeros. “The Edo state Appropriation Bill of six billion… 605 billion… 76 million…” he added, trailing off in a shaky voice. This the same generous governor who promised us “insecurity” during campaign o.
I couldn’t help but feel a connection. You see, for me, the only billions I’ve ever seen are the written ones. And they ofter “confuse” me. Not the actual money, mind you. Oh no, I’ve only encountered billions on TV, radio news, and in government budget reports. So, like Okpebholo, I’m always lost in the maze of numbers. How exactly does “605 billion” or “506 billion” translate into something that impacts my life? Unlike Okpebholo I do not only get confused, I get scared.
The budget that never touches the ground
When I hear these big figures, my mind races like a poorly maintained engine trying to understand them. “What are they spending this money on? And why is it that every year, the budget increases, yet things somehow remain the same?” The more I hear about these astronomical sums, the more I wonder: what exactly does our government do with all this money?
As I reflect on Okpebholo’s stammering, I wonder: Does he fear the same thing I do? Does he, like me, question why a billion seems to just slip through our fingers without a trace? Year after year, the government claims it is allocating billions to improve roads, healthcare, education, and security. Yet, the roads are still full of potholes. The hospitals have more rust than a scrapyard…no drugs. Schools still don’t have enough desks to seat the kids.
Just last week, I drove through my neighbourhood. I saw the same stretch of road I’ve been driving on for years to my house. Still “untarred”. Dusty. Bumpy. The potholes have become ditches. And guess what? The billions the government allocates to road maintenance never make their way here.
At this point, don’t even bother getting mad. It’s almost like a rite of passage. When the next governor says, “605 billion,” don’t even flinch. Feel free to ask: why are we always hearing about billions, but see no change on the ground?
Okpebholo and I: Stumbling over billions
Okpebholo and I aren’t alone in this confusion. I’m sure most Nigerians hear these huge numbers during budget presentations. I guess they, too, get lost in a sea of zeros. Perhaps it’s a good Okpebholo stumbled over those numbers. It gives us a glimpse into the truth. Even those who “deal” with these figures get flustered by them. Who wouldn’t?
But while Okpebholo stumbles, I sit in my living room, clutching my remote. I listen to the news anchor with a mixture of disbelief and dread. Every time I hear about billions being “allocated” to sectors that never seem to change, I’m wonder if my TV is playing tricks on me. If only we see government using a fraction of that money for things that actually matter. I mean, I’m just a regular person, but if they gave me 1 billion…ah! At last, I would have bought ice cream, balloon, fuel and well, some grains of rice. Something. Anything. But no! Instead, we get tonnes of speeches, a lot of paperwork, and then… nothing.
The billion-naira question
So, what’s the answer? Why does Okpebholo and I, along with millions of others, become so lost in these billions? It’s because they keep presenting us with numbers that don’t seem to correlate with our reality. In Nigeria, the only thing that grows is budget. Ok, and expenditures! Every year, the budget grows. But our roads still look like the surface of the moon. Our hospitals remain glorified clinics. And our schools alwys have more “students per classroom.”
Again, here’s real billion-dollar question: why do we keep hearing about these figures year after year? And why the actual money vanish into thin air? And why do our leaders, who are supposed to be managing these billions, end up just as confused as Okpebholo? The answer blows in the wind!
Or, maybe the answer is simpler than we think. The numbers are always bigger than the impact.
Okpebholo and I might not know what to do with a billion. But I know one thing for sure: it would be nice to see a little bit of it in my daily live. How about in the form of tangible projects and sound programmes?
Until then, we’ll all continue stumbling over those billions, trying to figure out what they really mean to us.
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