The last time I checked, Nigeria had become one big dustbin.  Not the tiny basket behind your door with dust and disused papers. I’m talking about the huge thing the waste management authorities once placed at the road junctions. In the end, they could hardly carry it away because everything useless was there. Well, the dustbin eventually ended at the dumpsite. Remember? 

Anyway, this dustbin called Nigeria is big enough for everything!  Last week, we granted deposed Jean-Bertrand Aristide of Haiti an asylum. Then, we smiled at our feat. What our detractors do not know is that we succeeded in gaining world attention as the biggest dustbin. We bring in fake products, corrupt culture, disused items. And, recently, disgraced dictators. 

The Aristide asylum has put us in the Books of Record, never mind whose. Just last year, we ushered in a world-confirmed serial murderer called Charles Taylor. He even killed many unknown Nigerians and two prominent journalists – Krees Imodibie and Tayo Awotosin. And before Taylor, Yomi Johnson, another “butcher” from Liberia, was already here. It’s only in Nigeria that a serial killer can be given asylum.

Well, Nigeria is big for all bad souls. It’s larger than hell. Once we had Siad Barre of Somalia here. And there was also a deposed Chadian leader, whose name I’ve forgotten.  And with our African hospitality, I’m sure we can still take more. Abba Sayed, abi? 

Again, it was the US that arranged this one. So, what is it doing keeping Saddam Hussein and mouthing threats of trial? America should just “throw” Saddam into this Nigerian “dustbin”.  Of course, since we are so eager for foreign attention, we would accept Saddam, if America ventures to suggest it. At least, that would raise our profile before the international community. And, if by any chance America is thinking of dethroning Fidel Castro of Cuba; or Moamar Ghadafi of Libya, we are waiting with open hands. 

Soon, we would open a school for future Nigerian leaders. The “imported” deposed rulers could serve as teachers there. They should get here, post haste, in numbers, before 2007 so our men can get some “sit tight” lessons. The major courses would include: Maximum ruling 101; major “handout” would be “How to be a dictator”, co-authored by the relevant “experts. True, our profile is rising. As one of the most corrupt countries in the world, we need more foreign dictators here to give our own homegrown despots some backings. 

I had always known that whatever Nigeria does is garnished with “style.” We play football with style. When we lose, it is in style. Our corruption index rises in style.  In religion, we beat all the countries of the world stylishly in proliferation, fanaticism, commercialism, fake miracles, etc. In rigging, we topped the world chart in the 419-election of last year. And thank God, it has also come out that Nigeria stands tall with its impoverished citizens ironically being the happiest people on earth. Now, we need to add to our “blessings” the rare breeds called dictators!

Nigeria is good at pleasing outsiders to the detriment of its citizens. We “dump” our won to please outsiders. While we “import” confirmed criminals, we use our people as sacrificial lambs – just to please the “Whiteman.” Our Awaiting Trial suspects live in deplorable environments, yet we build mansions and allow the disgraced tyrants and their wives to detect to us the kind of curtains and furniture they want. We do not value the lives of our citizens, that’s why many like Morris Ibekwe die in our cells and prisons daily. Ibekwe, for instance, went to prison, last year, on his legs; came to court a few times on wheelchair; now would soon go home. Unconditionally. But in a coffin!  He would be buried in a grave, the labyrinth of the Nigerian-dustbin. Nigeria is already one big grave. 

Ibekwe went to prison as a suspected fraudster. Yet, Ibekwe died a free man!  And his demise poses a lot of questions on the available provisions for those standing trials. It exposes our justice and prison systems for what they are. Lawmakers from the Southeast said he was a victim of judicial murder. And they were right. Except that they were in a conspiratorial silence while Ibekwe died “installmentally.” Even the EFCC (Economic and Financial Crime Commission) put the blame on the judiciary. Buck passing. Yet, we know all those involved in Ibekwe’s fate only obeyed the “master’s voice.” Hence, they refused to release the man early enough for medical check up.

Ibekwe’s death would hunt those who still possess that contraband called conscience. He died indicting the Nigerian State. In a society, which claims that a suspect remains so until proven guilty, what stopped the authorities from releasing Ibekwe to go and sort his health out? In a clime where murder suspects and even condemned criminals buy their way out, why was it impossible for Ibekwe with all his money to get the sympathy of those in-charge? The answer is simple. Because he was a victim of politics.

If Ibekwe committed a crime, he deserved to have gone to jail. But he died a sacrificial lamb meant to pacify the West. He was a scapegoat used to massage egos – to prove to the outside world that some charlatans are actually fighting corruption.  He was sacrificed to satisfy the “white-skins.” And that has always been our problem. Always too eager to please those crooked souls in “white skins,” as if they are better morally, than us. Why are our economic policies tailored to satisfy the IMF and World Bank? Why did we make so much noise about corruption, just when CHOGM came up in Abuja? 

Ibekwe committed no murder, yet was “dumped” at Kirikiri to rot away, while Taylor lives on our tax – in the Southeast. And Aristide was just on his way to, perhaps, the Northeast! 

Anyway, did Ibekwe die because of what he knew about those in power? Now that Ibekwe is dead, how would we know if he ever defrauded anybody? In any case, what’s the character of his alleged victims? How come the EFCC has not dealt with them, too? Somewhere in our statute books, there must be a word, a clause or a sentence – whatever – that could rope in the dupes. What good intentions did those foreigners have for Nigeria, when they got involved in business proposals that were not entirely tidy from the beginning?

A faceless Engineer Kevin Iyamu, for instance, claiming to be the head of a Privatisation Committee of “the Federal Military Government of Nigeria” (?), offers to transfer government money into somebody’s foreign account. He spells it out the money was gotten through the backdoor and pleads secrecy. A foreigner goes into the deal with eyes open. It might even be about oil bunkering. Yet, when it turns sour, he cries fowl and we dump our citizens into prisons, without trial, just to please one Mr./Mrs. Whiteskin, who goes home free. Does it make much sense? No “Whiteman” would kill his brother to please a “Blackman.”

This dustbin attitude is really putting us down. We pretend to be accommodating, but we all know what happens to the dustbin, eventually. Out of overuse or disuse, it always becomes waste itself – ending up at the dumpsite! 

• First published in Saturday Sun of  March 27, 2004