We’re All ‘Kolo’ With Money
I still can’t remember how much Bill Clinton paid that young lady who worked “under” him. But it probably wasn’t more than a squeeze of the bum. If it was,…
Why Old Woman’s Children Lived in a Shoe.
I’ve just found out why the “old woman” in my daughter’s nursery rhyme did what she did. If you never attended nursery school, be informed that: “There was an old…
Award For Mischief
There are people I admire so much and, it’s not what you think. Two types of people, actually – all dressed in human attires and attributes. Those consistent in whatever…
Minister of Words and Due Process
I hate jargons. I would rather you tell me, in blunt terms, what to expect than coin words that explain nothing. As a unionist, that was my problem with the…
Where Was Mbang, When Demon Entered Aso Rock?
I hereby congratulate retired Prelate Sunday Mbang on his new appointment. Very collapsible sources said the old man has appointed himself the acting, deputy, senior special assistant spokesman for the…
Simple Q: What Did You Read? Simple A: Books!
As a member of that noble “society” called the “masses,” I hereby insist that it’s my right to “communicate” – with myself. If nobody is ready to listen to me,…
Nail This Mark IV Mentality
The Nigerian Shooting Academy (NSA) says if a man holds a gun for a long time, it has a way of affecting his brain. It doesn’t matter if he shoots…
Are We All Going Mad?
A young woman roaming the streets one day saw what she thought an abomination. A man was eating from a dustbin placed outside the fence of a beautiful mansion. “Hey!”…
I’ll Pop Ekpenyong’s Champagne
The last time I saw the item called “loyalty” was before Nasir el-Rufai got to BPE. The next time I checked, a bird said it was sold along with Nigeria…
Why I Hate Love
Every time I hear the word love, I reach for my pocket. Because the first time I fell in love, I broke a limp. And while I nursed my hurt,…